The Friends in My Computer

This past weekend Matthew and I had a chance to go to Charleston, South Carolina to meet some friends from a twins message board I've been on for almost 3 years. As someone else noted, it really is a weird feeling to walk into a room of "strangers" and know their life stories. They really are an amazing group of people and have really been my sanity in the past few years. The thing about being a mom of multiples is that it in the early years it can really be quite isolating. It really is very hard to get out and do the things that people with 1 kid or kids spaced out better can do. But if you know me you know how I crave interaction and preferably some of that needs to be adult conversation. At first I joined to read about how they dealt with bed rest, nursing twins, getting them on the same schedule and things like that. Eventually my needs changed and we discuss things like religion, global warming and what should I cook for dinner. They've celebrated my kids milestones and cried with me through my trials. They've kept me engaged in what's going on in the world and given me a release when things were too much in my own little world.

Poor Matthew wasn't quite sure what he was getting into when he agreed to go. But he wasn't so sure about letting me go alone either. And we both really needed some time away from kids and work. He's always been very supportive of me and in fact was the one who finally convinced me it was ok to actually post instead of lurking on their discussions. I think he realized that they were a great resource but I don't think he really understood the magnitude of these friendships until this weekend.

Now when I told people we were meeting a bunch of twins parents I think they thought it would some sort of conference with seminars on parenting twins. But it really was just a chance to not be "parents" for a weekend. We hung out on the beach, played games, toured Charleston, did some shopping, lots of eating and basically just enjoying each other's company. And really we spent very little time talking about kids. Matthew and I both pointed out how simple chores like doing dishes and taking out trash didn't seem like work when we didn't have kids climbing on us or whining at us while we did it (and it helped that someone else cooked the meal). It was just so great to be Melissa for a few days and not Mom. Matthew and I didn't even spend that much alone time together but I think he enjoyed seeing me be myself for a few days and not just the mother of his children.

That's not to say I didn't miss my kids. I had been so worried about leaving them and how best to do that. 5 kids seemed too much for my mom but I'm not sure I wanted to split them up either. I finally decided to leave my mom with the girls and Elliott got to go hang out with his cousins at Stephen and Shelene's house. And despite all but Kendall getting sick while I was gone, they seemed to have survived and hopefully there's no permanent damage. In the end I came home with some even greater friendships, a renewed energy and calmness to deal with my kids and a little more in love with my husband than before. What more could one ask for from a vacation?